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I enjoyed this but there are a few suggestions i would make. First off the font for the subtitles should be neutral and clean, and most importantly, easy to read! The subtitles don't need to be styled to suit the aesthetic of the film, they just need to be readable. Similiarly they should be consistent, the voice acting should make clear who is speaking. If you want it to be clear even for the deaf, then try using slightly different colors.
You use filters, which is a nice touch and adds some character to the animation. However you use them too often and too obviously and it becomes annoying. Try to use the overlays subtly or not at all.
The character design was decent i thought. The beast in the cave was really cool! The music was all good too, but the sound design obviously needs work as people can't hear what's being said. Either that or you need a better voice actor or microphone.
My favorite thing was the plot! Really enjoyable script, interesting dialogue and a creepy atmosphere. Good pacing too! Overall i thought it was a good flash, keep it up!

Really good timing on the fbf, managed to really convey the sense of motion without using that many unique frames. The blink is killer! The concept is a little over done but the ending was unexpected. Good sound too, that really helped create an eery atmosphere. Overall a really fun piece, good work!

Very nice work! The clockwork imagery was all very nice and I like your use of colors and light. There are a few things i think could be improved on though: the camera movements. You open with a zoom out, which is nice and helps the viewer feel like they're entering an environment. Then you cut to a still shot; fair enough. Then it's a pan diagonally down; this feels a little disorienting. Then a still, then a pan diagonally down. This is an odd pattern and the motion erally doesn't flow. It's hard to work out the spatial relationship between the things being shown and some scenes feel like repeats. There are a few establishing shots but again, scenes feel repeated and the different pieces the viewers seen are never really slotted together.
I loved the tension built with the two entirely separate scenes (and colors) obviously happening synchronously gradually coming together and then colliding.
That said the pacing is pretty bad. Things happen far too slowly and any intelligent viewer will have anticipated events a few scenes ahead. For example there are about 40 seconds during which all the man does is gesture "Stay back!" (though i do like the battering in sync with the drums in this scene).
Whilst I do like the concept I think it could have done with some padding out to help keep up the videos pace. A really enjoyable animation regardless, good luck with future work!

Jedargh responds:

Hey thanks! This is actually my favorite criticism of my work. Super constructive. I agree with you about all of it. There were parts when I didn't have the time to make new content in order to get the timing right later in the video, so I did have to pad a bit in places.

Holy mackeral this is entertaining! Might be a little too bizzarre if you haven't seen/read the original but I've seen the film twice so i could follow. Real cool art style, and neat animation too. I'd prefer a bit more fbf but obviously that'd be pretty damn time consuming for this hour long epic. Good voice acting, especially Jack Nicholson, got his mannerisms down pretty good. The humor is not quite my taste but a few scenes still had me laughing. Ludicrously entertaining though, i'm really enjoying it so far (half and hour in). Good work!

poopinbeaks responds:

thanks you so much. your enjoyment is SERIOUSLY appreciated. by the way, what's fbf??

Did you write the song too? You should definitely upload it to the audio portal! I like your voice. Pretty amusing lyrics and a fun animation to go along with it. I liked it when the dog jumped out of their imagination and into the lounge. Cool sets and nice lighting on the candle lit scene! Keep it up

36tomatoes responds:

yup, wrote the song too. thanks, glad you liked it. was fun to create. had recently joined the no job category of society and had somewhat vast amounts of spare time so decided to do something creative with it, wrote the story, made the song, spent 2 weeks inside a cupboard which was my set night after day creating this. :)

Pretty enjoyable! I liked the colors and it was all very well synched. Good song too. The imagery was a little lacking though and you didn't have a clear style (sometimes you used curves but for the most part lines). I think you should have stuck with one or the other. It was also very flat, perhaps you could have tried making it feel a little more 3d? Not sure how you'd give something like this depth but i'm sure there's a way. Keep it up!

DoopSwindler responds:

Thank you for being honest and giving me advice. I will make sure to consider what you said for my next music video :)

Pretty much perfect. The music was a little garish and the opening shot was strange but i liked the tension it had. In fact the tension was quite well sustained throughout the whole thing. Even the end embrace had a certain disequilibrium to it. They hadn't fully resolved their differences and they hadn't negated the divide between human and alien they'd simply embraced it. I like that. The colors were awesome too and worked well with the funky character designs. Keep up the great work!

This your first NG upload so perhaps you don't know about these things but i HIGHLY reccomend adding a preloader and a play button. A replay button at the end would be nice too instead of an automatic loop. You can download a snazzy NG one from here: http://www.newgrounds.com/downloads/p reloaders/ (the download includes instructions).
As for the actual flash i thought it was pretty fun! Nice pacing and atmosphere. The jazz (or is it blues? I'm ignorant of these things) music was a classy touch and in fact, the general sound quality was pretty nice.
The animation could have done with some more fbf in my opinion as it was all a little static and rigid. Definite potential and a good concept, looking forward to more of your work!

Tziip responds:

Thanks , I really appreciate your comments, from now i'll put a play button and is jazz.

Ah wow, i love it.
You've got a decent undistracting art style and whilst some parts looked a little sloppy (the two lines of blood on the bears fur, the log bridge, etc.) there were also some beautiful moments. The parallex effect on the changing scenes as the bear travels was nicely done and there were some cool environments.
I quite liked the music too and as a music video it was certainly well timed with pertinent imagery too ( i liked it when the bear stopped to look at the sun/moon). The concept was my favorite thing though and the story was really swell, especially the ending. I thought the animation was good too and i'm a sucker for some nice fbf.
A great experience!

dylan responds:

Thanks for the kind words! I definitely agree that there are some less than stellar parts, the log bridge being high up there on my list as well; sacrifices were made to fully finish the video by the deadline, but I'm glad that you enjoyed it overall!

I think you've over used music in this. For the length of the flash a soundtrack of 3 songs is just a bit much. There is no time to settle in to any of the various moods conjured up. I'm told at every point exactly what my emotional response to a scene is supposed to be and if it wasn't bad enough being ordered around like that, i'm not even capable of following the orders. The changes are just too abrupt.
That said i liked the flash. The animation is simplistic as is the graphical style but you have some neat transitions and some pretty scenes (i especially like how you showed the painting). Some of the scene changes are a little fast and the transitions unsmooth but for the most part i thought the direction/"cinematography" were good.
I also really like how the message is told. It's not an in your face "drugs are bad kids" telling and it has some subtelty. But it doesn't become so subtle that it enters pretension, after a bit of analysis i understand the point you are making, and i appreciate that level of directness.
I don't actually agree with an all round critique of drug use and there are plenty of recreational drugs that can be taken without losing your hobbies/mind. However, i shan't pretend that's a problem with the flash and won't mark you down for it. It's also a school project so perhaps you stuck with a status quo take on drugs to avoid controversy.
I feel i've been a bit negative in this review so let me end by saying that i enjoyed the flash and watched it 4 times. I enjoyed how you told the message and there were some interesting character designs. Keep it up!

FossilClam responds:

Wow, thanks for the detailed review. I definitely agree that it's too short for the amount of songs, originally it was going to be longer, but I had to just get it finished, the lack of dialogue also shortens scenes quite a bit. I did have troubles with the pacing, I'm glad you pointed it out. I don't believe that all drugs are terrible, but that if they become the main focus of your day, you probably should slow down and think about changing. I'm glad you took the time to look at it so closely, thank you!

Email me here: pied3[at]hotmail.com to talk about anything. - Credit and thanks to W-P-S for the portrait used in my icon and profile image.



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